An introduction from your Hostess
Welcome to the It Doesn't Have To Be Hard Community
Hi, I’m Erica Leroye, and I have the joy and honor of being the hostess and curator for It Doesn’t Have To Be Hard.
I’ve been working in the intersections of adult learning and human development for decades. My background bridges movement education, trauma-informed care, and sexual health. I am the founder of Creative Body Release, bringing Sexual Health and Well-Being Somatic Education to Grownups (and those continuously growing). I’ve got a lot of training under my belt, but these days I lean most into my education as a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Certified Family Life Educator, Intimacy Choreographer, and long-time sensory-motor practitioner. My passion is helping people understand how the body learns, heals, and loves—connecting the dots between stress, pleasure, and vitality.
When I first heard Michelle talk about Soft Cock Week, something in me lit up. Here was someone saying out loud what so many of us in the field already knew: that softness isn’t failure, it’s part of the flow. I volunteered behind the scenes that year and was deeply inspired by Michelle’s courage to start a conversation that mattered. When she invited me to take over as Hostess and Creative Director, it was an easy and enthusiastic yes.
My personal path into this work began through love and loss. Years ago, my partner’s changing erections led us to explore new definitions of pleasure and intimacy. After his sudden death from undiagnosed diabetes, I discovered that erectile changes can be a wake-up call—that sexual symptoms can be early warning signs for larger health issues.
Since then I have made it my mission to de-mystify the international erectile epidemic and do all I can so others don't have to face unnecessary loss due to sexual stigmas and lack of education. Much of what I know comes directly from men who trusted me with their bodies and their stories—men willing to be vulnerable, open, and honest. I choose to work with men in a moment when “men” are often getting the wrong kind of shaft from society at large; this space is built to honor them with nuance, care, and real skills. Since then, I’ve collaborated with doctors, researchers, pelvic PTs, sex workers across the spectrum, and sex-tech innovators who are reshaping how we understand sexual well-being in general and men’s concerns more specifically.
What I bring here is a clear method and a living archive. I didn’t create Soft Cock Week—I inherited and expanded it. As the current curator and lead architect of the archive, I’ve turned a playful idea into a multi-voice education hubthat bridges sex tech, sexual medicine, research, and real-world coaching. My approach treats softness as intelligence, not something to hide; I teach arousal literacy, cock fluency, and erotic re-education through oxytocin-forward touch, solo practice, and skill-building you can actually use.
That’s the energy I bring here: curiosity, compassion, and collaboration. It Doesn’t Have To Be Hard is more than a website—it’s a community hub where education meets empathy, where softness meets science, and where everyone is invited to learn together. In a time when “sex” is now a censored word, it’s revolutionary to come together and share the truth that when it comes to choosing pleasure and positivity, it doesn’t have to be hard.
So whether you’re here as a partner, a provider, or someone navigating your own ebb and flow, welcome. I’m glad you’re here.
🦑💜 We’re in this together.
Erica
Want to read the full story?
My journey from love to loss to leadership reveals why I’m so passionate about de-mystifying men’s arousal, health, and pleasure.
Read “How I Came to Love the Soft Penis (and Why It Changed Everything)” →
Meet Michelle Renee - Soft Cock Week Founder
Hello!!! I’m Michelle Renee, the founder of Soft Cock Appreciation Week. I’m a surrogate partner and professional cuddler based in San Diego. I’m so excited that you are here and interested in learning more about ED. Maybe it’s affecting you personally, perhaps you’re here to support a partner, or maybe it’s some completely different reason! Either way, I welcome you!
I launched Soft Cock Appreciation Week in November 2022 after a few podcast interviews where I dropped this “crazy idea” that we needed an educational week around flaccid phallus due to too many people reaching out and asking me to help them “because my penis doesn’t stay hard the entire time during sex”. While I know that our sex education is inadequate, these types of questions were making me scream. I thought, “It has to be porn. You clearly think that porn is an accurate representation of how penises function.” They aren’t meant to stay hard during the entire sexual experience and we don’t need them to. My desire for SCW was to normalize a soft penis and expand our definition of “sex” so that a soft penis didn’t stop us from having sex. Bonus, I wanted to celebrate my love for softness. A few colleagues encouraged me to put my money where my mouth was and start it! So on September 29, 2022, I launched SoftCockWeek.com.
That first year was wild! I’m super enthusiastic about soft penises. I LOVE the way they feel, how they look, they are fun to play with. I can go on and on. And… I quickly learned that many of the people showing up for those first offerings were experiencing grief. They weren’t coming to our events to hear me gush about my love of their softness. Note, I have had many clients appreciate my enthusiasm and I feel confident that even if the people in that first year’s offerings weren’t at the place to hear it, at some point it will be a comfort to know that some of us really do love a soft cock!
I did adjust my approach the next year.
In year two I started thinking about moving on from the project of Soft Cock Week. I love starting things. I really dislike keeping them going. That year I met Erica Leroye. She had passion, maybe even more than I started with initially. She seemed like a great person to pass the baton to. After SCW 2023, I asked if she’d like to take over. Thankfully she was a big yes!
The Soft Cock Week you are seeing today is all her. I lovingly joke that Erica is my “co-parent” but really she’s the primary parent with full custody. I’m here to support her and this project is now her baby. I couldn’t have left SCW in better hands.
My invitation is to look around. Take what works for you. Leave the rest. If you find that you can’t find what you need, let Erica know. We desire for this to be a space of collaboration. Join us in that collaboration!